plans are crash. having kenduri after maghrib wif my maternal side. and also having family gathering wif my paternal side at 6.. ergh! parents are miscommunicating dese few days.. and im de one who mom share de things which is happening at home.. me as de daughter also have no idea on where to go.. confused.

and guess what... dat saturday is dad's birthday.. oh gosh! i noe he wants to attend de kenduri which will be de 40days of grandfather's left us. and i also noe dat he wants to celebrate de birthday with his own family.

oh grandmother... u did de wrong timing again.. aiyayaya... heeee... now living in confusion situation.

i cant be lying to maself anymore. i noe ive been giving people advises but me maself never do those advises given to dem. cry inself is what i do.

and izhar.. sorry hor fer being de person who can seriously control de patience jz bcz of my character and behaviour in school. feels sorry too.. but i like..

ive been lying to maself still. de memories still lies within. and it really hurts when i found de photos in de memory box which i have not touch it yet after 3 months. and soon,i'll be miting you again fer passing dat cd back to me. if only i can manage it on my own miting you again after we saw each other outside wif our own frenz.

please... seriously im moving on.. but i lie to maself yet again. i lied dat i never think of de memories but actually i still do. memories are oways kept to self alone.

someone spare me ur shoulder can? hee..[fake].. izhar... i need ur shoulder fer now..

today was sooooo de mrepek day okay..blue describe my boring day fer today..

supposedly to follow parents to j.b...and as usual..was left behind bcz overslept mah..hmm..but i didnt sleep dat late rite sanwan?hmmmm....* wondering am i? *

den was seriously bored at home..mcm cacing kepanasan okay..2nd bro went out fer soccer..de youngest watched tv and nvr will layan my mrepekz..my stooopid nonsence okay..

so decided to go out fer study even wif no-mood..but still i did manage okay studying alone..

okay2..otw to woodlands..saw my mummy angkat wif de children..actually was smiling widely to my mummy angkat wen dis 2 guys thot dat i was smiling at dem while i was eating my chocolate ice cream la sey..nice you know cz i took dat ice cream away from mummy while dey were on de way back to home sweet home..sayang mum alot k...hehe!!

fer dat 2 hot guys,i know dat de both of you are seriously hot..but i never smiled widely to you okay..

upon reaching dere..i saw fai at woodlands library too..he was browsing thru de books dere..wah!!luckily i saw u dere seh..can accompany me studying too..if not i'll be sleeping while studying i guess..

ya lah..ask dem around..im de shy type u noe asking people whther can accompany me or not..i rather not ask but dey asking..~weehee~

den ya..dat soon to be burfday boy mummy calls up fer dinner at seoul garden and he was suppose to queue fer it..and ya..after we had our dinner at long john,he went up fer de queue fer another dinner wif family..haha! happy fattening urself k..

and ya..iskandar..haiz[loudly]...i'll just passed ur book tmrw morning before meeting up nanie n val to visit one of our darl's mum whos admitted to hospital bcz of heart attack..darling jai..be strong k..ur frens here will oways be dere fer you too k..

reading cuzin's blog really aches me.i wonder where is de old she who can overcomes every problem,giving me strong advises.who never been sick oways.who is not dat thin as a stick now.i nid dat cuzin who is lively,cheerful.we want you okay cuzin.i just want de cuzin dat i noe.not only me,i guess everyone wants de you dat uve oways been.deres oways a reason behind every problem cuzin.talk to me if u seriously nid someone to talk to as i will be dere fer u seriously.

and you noe dat i simply love you and you noe dat we simply love u lotz k cuzin.be strong cuzin irah.

lifes getting bored each day.nothing happening like what ive been through.im wondering still.is it becoz of what im going through as in being busy wif self.when now comes to free time,im just not being maself.

seriously,im getting bored each day.someone please kill my boredom.

school will end in few months time...and we're going separate ways of life...guess life will be empty wifout dem..as in we're all in laughters and smiles or even shedding tears together wif laughters each day..but in few months time,itz all gonna be over..

how i miss de funs dat we had..and surely im gonna miss you people crazzily...

but thanks fer a listening ear to my cries...im not sure what more should i do to run away from dat problem..can i do like what you do?cut my wrist?whahahaha!!!

guess what...i was forced to fall in love wif 3 different people...and yes..i kept this to maself,lin,nanie,izhar....dey are my listening ears..i never ever come across wif people like those 3 guys..AND IM NOT BEING A BIG SHOT HERE OKAY!

hey people!!love is not suppose to be forced okay...itz my choice who to love...itz my choice who i wanted to be loved..im not asking you people to wait..ive asked you people to move on wif life...and ive explained everything...i mean every single thing ive explained to you people...what more cant u understand?ive given up on love does you people noe?itz pain in de heart and i never want to be hurt again..asked my close ones who i am when im disappointed wif love life..asked dem who i am at dat point of time when im attached...and asked dem who i am when im enjoying my singlehood life..

itz a different me!!i always had to gave my time to ex-boyfriend...and no time fer my own friends..i had to understand him always...but what do i get in return?NOTHING.he busy himself wif werk...wif de people from chats...and no time fer me...do you think itz fair?ITZ NOT A FAIR GAME OKAY.thanks.

and dat is de reason y im disappointed in love life...love comes on itz own...and cannot be forced!! itz no use fer you people to wait fer something which might not happen...get a life please..ive told you people many donkey times...please..move on...no use waiting fer me la...cz firstly..im not ready yet as ive been disappointed in ds love life..secondly...i have to sae this sincerely...i dont have de heart fer you people...ive regard you people as my friends and not more den dat...FULLSTOP.

im not being a BIG SHOT here..but please...move on..ive no heart or feelings fer you people...if you people regard me as ur fren,you have to accept my decision.so please...think!! cz ive given up telling you people again and again and again....

i guess i noe de reason y im aint being maself today..i was like a crazzy ghurl in de canteen during lunch while thinking still on what to eat fer lunch...i was like screaming loud but not dat loud la...and i let out my anger to deary brother..sorry la izhar...but i was really pissed off okay...and i donno de main reason fer it actually..but maybe those people are de ones who make my day a pissed off ones...thanks uh guys...but actually de main reason is dat...itz my mood swing la...guess u noe la ehk what happen when i have mood swings...first day!!erghhh!!damnnnnn.......

im sick and tired of everything...

ya...itz really true okay...im crying while bloggin this entry..someone please get my mind off this problem...i really cant stand it..dont think i have de mood fer school tmrw..guess i jz wanna have some breaks and go somewhere peaceful to get my minds off...i don care and i heck care okay...itz really pissing me off...

PLEASE PEOPLE!!!!!!!! GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate people who waited fer something which might not happen...please...get a life..and gimme a break...i want my life back...please...

some problems can be solve in a nice way..but sometimes some problems need to be solve in a harsh way..but i juz cant..people around me will understand..esp cuzin irah...thanks fer de advises..but im not sure when this thing will stop and end...im sick and tired...ive given up hope..please...gimme a break can?

went to uncle new place...okay...not bad...but itz far la sey...jurong extension..erghhh...in a hot weather somemore...and me and mum were waiting at de new place,whereas de rest busy carrying stuffs fer de new house...and i managed to get my short nap okay...

den after dat..went to jurong library to teman dat crazzzy person fer maths test..supposely reaching dere by 4+ rite?instead i reached ard 5+ in de rainy weather..romantic la katekn?errrgh!!but ure welcome okay...i came den walked2 in de jurong library..den came back..sit2..flip2 wif book..read ur script!!...den after dat,we go makan...aper cakap...where gt teman ehk?hmmm...

upon reaching kfc..sanwan received call from my darling cuzin..and ya..i talked to her..she was crying?aiyah...i cannot see my close ones crying okay..darling..i simply love you okay and will be dere fer you...if deres no me..dat best fren of ur boyfriend is also dere..and we are all dere fer you okay..

kfc...ya...sorry crazzy person...thanks fer taking up de dare fer eating dat veggies..and sorry la..didnt mean to force you okay..

den meet up cuzin at ngee ann city..ya...firstly i did talk to her..after dat,she told her prob to sanwan..dat best fren of ur boyfriend...and sorry didnt talked much after dat people...my body was actually getting hotter due to maybe going to get my fever..and datz y i kept maself quiet..and also due to this irritating thing dat happen continuously which cuzin..u saw it urself in de mrt wif dat name and number on it..im sorry okay to you people;irah and sanwan fer not talking much...and sanwan...i'll keep and collect everything okay...hmpf!!

so ya people...sorry once again fer not making my day de happy one?

u need a pair of strong shoulders
that will always be there for u to lean
and cry on. well..mines not tat strong,
but will definitely be there 4 u to lean on
whenever u need it.
u need a pair of legs to see u through
that dark path ure treading on now.
hey..use mine ba.. very fit one k..i will definitely bring u out of
the darkness n into the light again. u
need the soothing voice
that will always comfort u, encouraging
u through,
speaking out for u when u can't.
hmm..tink u should noe by now tat im nw
really good wif words when it comes to
comforting ppl, but hey..i will always be
there 4 u to make sure tat u r not goin
tru difficult times alone. u need that
hands of mine,
to wipe away the flowing tears on ur
face. well..tats y im created wif hands,
to wipe ur tears away.
u need that thumping heart of mine
to beat inside ur cold and numbed body,
melting all the coldness inside u.
well..as long as my heart is thumping, i
will do juz tat.