memories are to be kept to self alone..: September 2007

Friday, September 28, 2007

... 11:56 PM

im gonna bite dem to bits and pieces...
our plans change to 7 october 2007,sunday..
and it falls on Val's birthday..
weeee.....
and make sure it happen!!!!!!
or i'll be screaming at muhd izhar again...
hahahhahahahhahahahah.......................
muhd izhar...
hmmmm.....
hahahhahahahha...
i guess u noe de reason y im laughing rite....
muhd izhar bin abu bakar......
and hope our plans on thursday happen okay my dear blood...
and dat sunday too....
before hari raya!!

2 more weeks people...
gonna be hari raya....
and skool reopen!!!!!!
arggh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
de two irritaters will come back to skool and make stoooopid nonsence things again...
CHARGE!!!!
errrr...
did i mention two?
actually one only...
dat tall...
skinny...
"""handsome"""
"""cute"""guy....
datz a lotz of open and close inverted comas huh...
and actually im not looking ferwerd fer skool reopen la..
boring..
i noe itz de last term...
and it surely be de boring term fer me..
i noe u noe i only noe de reason..
and people out dere donnoe de reason...
hahahhahahahha....

so...
nitez nitez...
msging scandal ujang fer now..
den tmrw afternoon..
going geylang wif mommy...
and sight seeing people again....
weeeeee.....
bye bye...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

... 2:10 PM

boring are my holidays..
complicated is my life..
i rather choose to be in skool..
den sitting at home nothing better to do..
24/7 in front of my lappy..
and it really drives me nuts and crazzy!!

and im wondering still..
to a prob of mine..
haha..
im juz a problematic ghurl..
with everyday..
with every hours and minutes and seconds..
and..
with everytime..
problem..
problem..
problem..
ya..
and i do have it one new one right now..
argh!!
wen will all problems stop..
i wonder..
i wonder..
and still wondering..

like said..
problems in a person never ends..
it will continue till de end..
itz fer life!!
even thou if dat problem is settled,
another problem will strike through..
it will not stop in a person..
haiz..

and again..
my...problem.
haiz...
itz easy to be said..
den writing on de blog..
and telling people...
itz easy to be said den done..
if itz done..
de new one will come..

hey..
cant give me face meh giving me all sorts of problem??
and im de one whu gets headache all de time..
while people are whistling wif deir own sweet and free time..
argh!!

and yan..
itz not worth waiting okay..
life have to move on..
on..
and on..
and on..
replacement is difficult..
but waiting is terrible..
and it will drives you and me crazzy..
and in de end we'll be in trouble..

stress is in you..
stress + nuts + migraine is in me..
a friend is a place to share problem..
and being a shoulder to cry on..
but ya..
if dats de choice of urz to de way of life..
solving it alone..
to urself..
den go ahead la...
juz den..
don come back and find me if deres another problem of urs which makes u stress..
coz it will not only drives me stress and nuts and crazzy...
but mad too..
coz ive told you before..
and ure de one who doesnt want to take de action..

desperately waiting fer it to happen..
patience is always a must..
but what will happen..
if ure being patience fer de right time..
and it will not happen?
itz juz a wasting of de precious time..
am i right?
and dat is why like i said..
life have to move on..
u can wait fer de time..
but not desperately waiting and confidently thinking dat miracles and hopes and dreams will come through..
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
make an effort..
do something which busy us dat we'll not come and think of de problem..
and yes..
itz difficult..
but have to move on la..
u cant be sitting down dere waiting fer something to drop from de sky rite..
datz soopid enuf to waste precious time..
so..
ya....
move on..

im moving on..........
moving on.........
moving........
moving.......
moving......
moving.....
moving....
moving...
moving..
moving.
.

check it out.. 2:45 AM

not sure if itz true la ehk..
but it seems cool..
juz check out this page..
it really explains my character..
but people juz never appreciate..
check it out more...
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test79.aspx

Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

thank you very de much.. 6:49 PM

thanks to my deaRy sister!!
thank you very very very de much..
due to me fidgeting fingers lor..
save dat new template on my blog..
and it had to take time under construction..
haha..
thanks ehk nazurah...
appreciate it many2 seh..

under construction.. 3:58 PM

- UNDER CONSTRUCTION -

haha... 12:20 PM

and luckily im not yours no more..
ure a big fucking liar...
and i got to noe it from someone trusted...
haha!!

wondering whom im talking about??
itz dat fucker ex boyfriend la..

LIED.
told me dat ure still a virgin whereas ure NOT..
loosen it to a kindergarten teacher somemore...
hey!!
please la...
self reflect...
ure EIGHTEEN...
shes TWENTY+...
ure a fucking damn student who doesnt know anything..
and shes a kindergarten teacher somemore...
and she left..
and u dare lied to me..
and lucky me dat we've broke up...
and im happy..
ladies whom are wif you after me are juz stooopid..
and i do have a plan taking over dat..
and yes!!
i have plans...
evil plans...
"what goes around,will always go around.."

so people..
deres more stories of him actually..
but i rather NOT tell more..

meet up session planning.. 12:45 AM

met yan juz now at novena..
okay..
im late fer 5 mins only okay..
den give me dat face..
my train was after ur train..
so itz equal okay..
haha..

okay2..
so de outing was okay..
and thanks to yan..
de shops were all closed la dey..
it was 9+ to 9.30pm..
and dere we were...
can still sit outside novena..
talking2..
non-stop..
smoking..
letting out smokes to my face..
and thanks ehk..
duh!

novena was quite a boring place to shop la actually...
deres nothing much seh..
boring...
and it really makes my mood from bad to worst la sey..
coz of de boring shopping centre..
not much cool shops..
yan..
please ehk...
next stop..
town area..
happening abit..
and due to de changing off last minute plan de shops were closed okay..

okay2...
classmates2..
i mean...
nanie2..
lin2..
and muhd izhar2..
haha..
juz tempting to write in full la again..
hehe..
msged me up..
and called me..
due to our outing..
people..
make it happening seh..
don last minute change and im gonna be one crazzy mad ghurl like what i used to do to yan lor..
talking non-stop..
tired noe due to last minute change..
dskjdsjhfsdfnskdfnskd....

and so..
our miting will be at Marina Shopping Centre for our PizzaHut..
and joann..
hope to see u dere..
den after dat we'll head to geylang..
if nanie is bringing boifren,Din...
i bring my scandal,yan..can?
and left izhar wif linda...
so..
we are like couples la..
jz don match make me wif dat tall skinny guy can olreadi...
and im satisfied..
haha..
and im looking ferward to meet u darlings okay..
this friday...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Love Is Cinta".. 11:23 AM

now watching...
and indonesian movie...
"Love Is Cinta"..
and those who have not yet watch it..
watch it la..
u cant be waiting fer me to story de story line of it rite?
but i'll tell u abit of it wen im free okay..?

be miting yan later..
ya i noe..
uve told me to mit u up so to let out my anger..
and ive warned you enuf..
im gonna let out my anger in front of de public if i have too..
so it can ease my mind easily i guess..
so..
ya...
continuin my movie..
and will get back updating blog once ive reached home at night..

Please.. 11:08 AM

i juz have to ferget u..
and i have to ferget de memories okay..
it really makes me feel better to be in dat way..
getting and noeing more people..
being socialize wif others..
have more fresh new air..
leaving everything behind..
and i have too..
getting to noe more people doesnt mean dat im bitching around..
and i noe my limits of being a friend to social..

getting and noeing more people should make a difference out of myself..
and i have to move on wif my life..
not juz sitting dere still waiting..
and dat is what i call stoopid enuf to wait fer it..
i have to be socialize wif maself wif others..

and im hoping..
de people around me..
will please not bringing things up again about him..
itz de time ure talking about others..
and not him..
if u people want me to lead a better way of living..
please..
stop praising him much..
"he's nice..."
"he's sweet..."
those are de werds dat came out from ur mouths..
and im de one who suffers..
and please..
i beg u people once again..
stop talking about him..

now..
i have my new life..
single back..
and enjoying my life..
and i have to enjoy to de fullest before any Mr.Right comes in de way..

Monday, September 24, 2007

please stop ur nonsence people.. 11:24 PM

ergh!!
people..
people..
please..
stop it..
i juz nid a rest okay..
ease my mind from everything..

can u people please stop talking about dat guy..
MOHD SHARILL BIN MOHD SOPI!!
u ruined deir brains okay...
people are talking about you..
ure sweet..
ure nice..
stooopid asshole!!
if u people are thinking dat about him..
go and be wif him okay!!!
ask me fer his number and i'll surely give u..
de handphone number..
de house telephone number..
de email address..
everything!!

and now..
mum is saying i should have a life partner by now..
hello..
u don really noe de real story of my life..
and im thankfull fer u fer de advises..
and dad too..
no one ever noes de life ive been through dese years..
and if only u noe de real and whole story what really happen and u should be glad..
i overcomed everything..
but..
like said..
like what ive told you mom..
i wanna enjoy my life to de fullest..
spending my young teenage life all on my own..
and yes..
im gonna show u de effect on what ive done okay..

dad told mum..
and mum told me..
find de right guy..
who can lead u to de right path of life..
and no tattoo please..
urgh!!
luckily dat shah was not wif me anymore..
and yan..
i have to let u go..
and yan..
itz not dat i don like you..
itz you dat i hate de most..
im not urs okay..
and dere you were..
feeling jealousy and sensitive of me..
feeling insecure..
hey dumbz!!
find a life okay!!
reflect urself in de mirror and tell me more..
and im not ur ghurlfriend dummy..
ure juz feeling of it..
like what malay people always say...
"syiok sndri"...
haha..
and ure one of dem okay..

so..
now..
i want to enjoy my life to de fullest..
smoke...
drink...
clubbing?
so people...
don disturb my life okay..
thank you..
and i appreciate it de most..
bye2..

What would It Take.. 3:47 PM

Every time I think about you,
You just drive me crazy
I can't get you off of my mind
Every time I think about
What you done for me baby
I miss you with every sec that goes by
Now that you're gone
I can see that I was wrong
So:
What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms

What would it take
To have you here again
Right by my side
Cause I'm missin' you
I'm missin' your smile, your touch
You're everything that drives me wild
Nobody can make me feel the way you do
Without you I'm lost
You're always in my thoughts
So:
What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms

Every time I think about you,
You just drive me crazy
I can't get you off of my mind
Every time I think about
What you done for me baby
I miss you with every day that goes by
Now that you're gone
I can see that I was wrong
So:
What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms

I know I made some mistakes
In this relationship
I wanna make this thing righ
tDon't wanna fuss and fight
Don't argue in the night:
There is no way in this world
I can repay you for the pain I brought:
I wanna change this now
And bring you back in my arms

So come back
I won't leave you again
No matter what I do
You're all I seem to think off
Baby:
I miss you again
No matter what I do you're all I seem to think of

Every time I think about you,
You just drive me crazy
I can't get you off of my mind
Every time I think about
What you done for me baby
I miss you with every day that goes by
Now that you're goneI can see that I was wrong
So:
What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms
Oh-oh
Need you again

Friday, September 21, 2007

cuzins outing.. 12:02 AM

weeehee..
juz got back wif brother lorr..

went breaking fast at Bugis wif my long never meet cuzins..
everyone met at 6pm with 3 cars..
12 of us in 3 different cars..
chaos happened wen cuzins met..
and at last..
met dem after few months we're busy wif self..
had much talks..
and yes..
dey're asking me about him la sey..
wah!!!!!!!!!

we were not being together anymore okay..
going to our own ways..
hes tooo obsessed in work..
and bye2 to him..
and im starting my new chapter of life..
yan!!!!
the replacement..
help me here..
haha!
and to people out dere..
dont tink im bitching around okay..
dumbs!!

and ya..
after dat went to geylang..
okay lah..
not bad la..
new clothes..
cuzins tried up on de white baju kurong..
and yes!!
de whole family of my father's side including us are wearing white on de first day..
woohoo!!
cant wait fer de day lor..

and yes..
while on de way to geylang..
niece jz took out a cd to listen in de car..
guess what?
we're listening to raya songs..
and we jz started our fast fer only a week..
damn...
and memories came thru while listening...
emo rite?
yes..
okay2..
fine..
what ever la okay..

now tired..
msging Ujang..
hehe..
while waiting fer Yan to come back from skate la sey..
haha!
u see ex boyfriend..
even wen deres no you..
deres dem..
deres my friends..
and i can and have to move on wif my life..
okay?
don tink dat i cnt survive wifout you..
only fer few days..
but after dat..
ta-da..
im okay..
onli left wif memories..
and i can surely survive on it..

and people again!!
don think im bitching around..
haha!!
as if i donnoe ur mindset like dat..
klar..
bye2..

Thursday, September 20, 2007

self obsessed.. 4:02 PM

haha!!

self-obsessed..

ur friend has just got nothing better to do..

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

latest updates again.. 10:33 PM

latest updates again..!!

20th september
- breaking fast with my long time never meet cuzins from father side..yaya,nina,hisyam,abg hasyim & gf,kak nana & husband,abg ayie & wifey and my brother..

21st september
- breaking fast wif my long lost scandal,yan..haha..

21st september
- family gathering at jurong after meeting yan again..

28th september
- breaking fast wif my crazzzy people as usual..nanie,lin and muhd izhar..hehe!

4th october
- breaking fast wif my cuzins from mother side..iqah,irah,fifi..

6th october
- breaking fast wif ghurlfriend,amalina....

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sorry Dont Blame On me 11:06 AM

dats known as sorry , blame it on me !! here goes d lyrics...
As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my girl

I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

You can put the blame on me
Said you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings

He got a second wife and you didn't agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief
I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would've listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry your life turned out this way
I'm sorry the FEDS came and took me away

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 you know the club they say
Why doesn't anybody wanna take blame
For rising back out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame
Even though the blame's on you
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me

Sunday, September 16, 2007

new updates.. 9:01 PM

new updates!!

28th september - breaking fast wif my people..nanie..lin..muhd izhar..haha..
4th october - breaking fast wif my cuzins..iqah..irah..fifi..
deres some dates yet to come..
and i cant wait..!!
:)

Friday, September 14, 2007

happy people. 9:26 PM

itz been 2 days olreadi in fasting month.
and itz been almost a week im off wif him.
memories?
yes...alot..
but i have to move on and keep those memories only to self..
im only left wif dese memories from him.
and thanks uh ehk..
"once a liar,is always a liar"..
and..
"what goes around,comes around"..
so..
think on wat ive told u before..

and im going to meet my people starting next week!!
and i jz cant wait fer it..
i cant wait to get out of de house,have more fresh air..
as ive been stucked at home,disallowed from dat ex of going out alone fer almost 8 months!!
imagine it people...
he has de pros and cons fer me wen going out alone...
and some is right..
oh gosh!!
y am i still on his side?
i have to have my own decision..
it may take time fer me to go out again coz fer 8 months i never make or communicate much wif people outside..
so....
this is time fer me to get back on my knees..
and try to talk more coz ive started being quiet to self after dis break up thing..
and watever it is..
i do still have my friends by my side..
and i simply love demm..

creditz to:
* my crazzzie cuzins...
- iqah
- irah
- fifi
- abg azrin

* my crazzzy yet wonderful people...
- ilah.
- amalina.
- muhd izhar.
- nanie.
- lin.
- maine.
- chin yong.
- charlene.
- nazurah. & her darling sister.:)
- sabrina.
- gwen.
- dayana.
- liza.
- farid.
- hatd.
- ayim.
- rahim.
- iskandar.
- yan.
- azizi.

dey are de people whu brings back my confidence in me..
thanks everyone.
it may take time to ferget someone.
but i'll sure u wen skool reopen..
i'll still be de same wani whu u people knew me before and be strong in overcoming everything k..
i love u people many2..
and enjoy ur holidays ya..
to my muslims mates..
happy fasting...
muackz!!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

... 8:25 PM

phew..
my extra bfs are jz too extra crazzzy to de extra bits..
and thank u very de much extra bfs..hatd..ayim..farid..rahim..is..
and yes..
i knew u extra people are dere fer me and thanks ehk..
asking my whereabouts scaring dat i'll do stooopid things again!!and again!!
and yes..
im cutting it down but i'll do it more wen troubles come again
and u people jz nid to understand me lorr wen it strikes..
and yes..
to dat extra blood scandal bf tempang legs wif cacat hands..
opps!!
hehe..
thanks also ya..
and i jz donno how much and how many thanks should i sae to everyone who gave me supports and building up de confidence back..
extra extra thanks to you people..

and due to fasting month,
im washing away all my sins..
my stressful thoughts..
do more good things..
and prepare myself fer a new self..
and i will simply love maself fer who i am.

so people..
dont judge me by de looks coz looks may be deceiving..
and yes..
i do have my bad girl in maself and it will not go to de extend of de worst but it will still stay wif de bad at times..
so..
if u want me to respect u,respect me first..
if u dont bother,den get lost lor..
go and choose someone who have de same taste as urz coz u'll not stand to be my taste..
bye2..

28th september - break fast wif my crazzzzy people..lin..nanie..izhar..
between 4 - 6 october - break fast wif my larling cuzins..iqah..irah..fifi..nadiah..hada..
and deres still more dates to come and not yet to be confirm..
update it again..

Easy. 8:02 PM

I might be your young girl but I know how to have fun
I got them boys chasing me trying to make me the one
When I'm out shopping it's like having a gun
Whatever I wanna get, got them boys caught up

I know I'm a hot hot shorty
But you gotta slow down
You don't know me
If you in a hot hot hurry
You gotta go now, back up off me

Ooh, I got them going crazy you see
Uh ooh, head over heels for me ooh
Uh ooh, weak in the knees for me boy
Uh ooh, 'cause you are so damn easy
'Cause you are so damn easy
'Cause you are so damn easy

Ooh, I'm much rather than you think that I act like you know
Just because I'm a teen it don't mean that I'm slow
I think you're a cutie boy, but you're turning me off
Sometimes you gotta play hard to get and then it's on

I know I'm a hot hot shorty
But you gotta slow down
You don't know me
If you in a hot hot hurry
You gotta go now, back up off me

Ooh, I got them going crazy you see
Uh ooh, head over heels for me ooh
Uh ooh, weak in the knees for me boy
Uh ooh, 'cause you are so damn easy
'Cause you are so damn easy
'Cause you are so damn easy

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

thanks again.. 11:22 AM

and yes..
ive told maself to think of de positive..
which is correct lor..

he left becoz he doesnt have time fer me..
he is too busy wif life of werking and skooling..
and not asking from his parents money..
and ya..
i will understand.
and thanks fer everything.
appreciated everything's done.
thanks very much.

friends..
cousins..
my siblings..
im quite ok fer now..
i jz have to move on wif life..
thanks everyone fer de supports and comforts and advises u gave me to move on..
thanks alot..
:)

Monday, September 10, 2007

thanks. 9:37 PM

first paper jz end..
and ya..
managed to do it..
and loving it..

but stooopid thing happened again from dat jerk..
he jz traumatised my life..
argh!!
y?
stooopid fer falling in love.
and im beginning to not trust in relationship no more..
no more..
trust no sweet stooopid love no more..
it juz hurts me more..

and yes..
to my frenz..
thanks fer all advises and supports u gave to me to move on wif life..
but it takes time fer me to not thinking on dis traumatised life..
and i hope itz getting better fer me and not de worst..
and i love u people..
and thanks fer de hugs larlings fer comforting me before my paper..
love u people many2..

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Gotta Go My Own Way.. 9:37 PM

I gotta say what’s on my mind
Something about us doesn’t seem right…these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try
Somehow the plan is always rearranged
It’s so hard to say
But I gotta do what’s best for me
You’ll be okay…

I’ve got to move on, and be who I am
I just don’t belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Don’t wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to grey
And it’s just too hard…to watch it all…slowly fade away
I’m leavin’ today’
Cause I gotta do what’s best for me
You’ll be okay

What about us?
What about everythingwe’ve been through?
What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you
What about me?
What am I supposed to do…
I gotta leave but I’ll miss you
miss you..

Saturday, September 8, 2007

y r u being so unfair to me? 11:59 PM

wat in de world happen to me?
i sacrifice everything and dere u were not appreciating..
y in de world must u do all dese stuffs?
im hoping fer de better but this is wat i gt in return..
i have no one to turn into..
ure de hope dat ive been looking thru..
but y..
i nid to noe de reason..
ure running away from it..
i jz nid to noe de reason..
y must u fell in love wen in de end u noe it will be a break up done by u!!
im disappointed..
im sad.
and i nid u by me..

unfair life.. 2:53 PM

life is unfair fer me..
it jz gave me 7 months to be wif him..
and dere..
we went to our own ways..
thanks fer not appreciating wats given..
single.
thanks.

memories brought back.. 12:43 AM

muhd izhar..
ive told u many2 donkey monkey times..
but u jz wont listen..
dese memories juz cant get lose from my thinking..
im missing and thinking him much..
i jz cant and i have to move on..
but i jz cant get him out of de mind..
k2..
im crying..
urgh!!
mommy is beside me..
damn!!
if only dat bf noes..
izhar..im DEAD.
i jz cant sia..
memories brought back..
please..
get it out of de mind..

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

busy,stressed momentos.. 11:14 PM

been crazzy long time since i blog..

many things had really happened in life dese past few days..

and been busy to and fro from hospital,taking caRe of granddad..

ok2..

let me update some of de things which happened..

had an emergency call from mom on friday..

went straight to grand parent's place wif younger brother..

upon reaching dere,saw aunts helping out granddad to sent to clinic fer check-up..

after reaching to de 1st clinic,

went to de 2nd clinic fer confirmation if granddad nid to be sent to de hospital..

and yes..

he nid to be sent immediately..

and after dat,

went back to grand parent's place..

getting ready fer his stuffs..clothes..and everything..

he was sent to Tan Tock Seng Hospital straight wif aunt by ambulance..

where me,mum,aunt and grandmom went dere by cab..

reached dere by 10+,and were alot of people..

he got de room by 2.15am..

and lucky us,we gt de A class room instead B class..

and we jz nid to pay it under de B class payment..

thank god fer it coz deres no bed left..

so,left me,mom and aunt in de cold room..

slept on de sofa were de nice one..

ya..

very kanchong coz never sleep in de hospital before..

and boyfriend...

im very happy to leave u alone at home..

coz i jz hate to be disturbed by u as i gt no mood fer you!

clear?

understand?

thank you.

and ya..

de next day,celebrated mom's birthday at grandparent's place wifout my grandparents..

so we did bring some cakes fer dem in de hospital..

hmm..

somemore what ehk?

and ya..

been in de hospital fer 5 days olreadi..

taking care of him and saw and heard what he had done will be a memory fer me..

examz are coming and i touched only fer marketing..

actually gt not enuf time fer study as ive been going to and fro from hospital..

so..

no confidence fer me..

family problems..school problems..relationship problems are jz fulling up my brain..

and break down did happened wifout no one's notice except dat muhd izhar lor..

called at de wrong timing only..

to muhd izhar..

thanks alot fer being dere my fren..

and today..

gt a sad news from ghurlfren..

im always by u darling no matter what..

everyone feels sorry fer u and family fer de lost..

life have to go through no matter what..

u've been a strong person since de day u heard de news and since de day u took care of him..

i knew how u feel as ive gone thru helping de thick and thin of ur life fer almost 3 years..

and be sure,everyone are dere to help u no matter what..

and i love u larh darling..

to boyfriend..

ive gt to think twice before coming thru to a decision..

it may be de final or maybe not..

and day by day..

been thinking on it..

im still not sure on it..

gave u chances but by de time,ive gt to make my own decision..

and yes..

i guess i still love u still..