memories are to be kept to self alone..: July 2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

with love.. 11:28 PM

went to skool today at last..

was kind of early unexpectedly..

hehehe..

gong izhar!!

im always late fer every mondays and tuesdays..

and itz either im late fer mondays or never come skool..

cool uh?

damn weak attendance i'll have this term..

2nd year olreadi mah..

sick and tired olreadi to come early..

where did i learn this "late" and "skipping" classes thing from?

presenting.........

.....

Mohammed Sharill Bin Mohammed Sopi and..

Muhammad Izhar Bin Abu Bakar..

distracted by dem..

hahaha..[evil laugh]..

went to food junction wif cliques fer lunch..

we had murtabak chicken and beef..

yummy yum yum huh..

it was finger licking gooooood...

den proceed wif normal lessons in skool..

slept fer few minutes in administration lesson after her blablabla...

before proceeding to KDS lesson..

and yes!!

i went fer KDS lesson fer ur info..

sory la blood..

was boring going home early..

so went dere wif Val..

hahaha..

after dat..

straight away with both walking legs with medium speed..

didnt care wif surroundings..

went to my grandparent's place..

heart was pounding hard like something not right is happening..

upon reaching dere..

saw my crazzy cuzin,Iqah,whu was sitting at de wheel chair..

first thought was someone else with her slendang like some granny..

crazzy her..!!

den saw everyone..

mummy..lil'bro..granny..aunt and my crazzy cuzin in de room later on..

everyone were sitting around him..

recital of Quran were read and also being played on..

saw grandfather..

he was dere..

lying on de bed wif a weak body and pale face..

heard from surroundings dat he saw "people" clearly olreadi..

haix..

cant be done wif anything except prayers fer him..

he had done alot fer us..

taking care of me wen in primary skool..

taught me de steps of prayers during childhood..

really appreciate it alot..

love u grandfather..

be going dere again tomorrow..

and tomorrow..

like deres no end of it..

will always be spending most of de time by him..

once again...

ure loved by ur wife..sons and daughters..ur grandchildren..and ur great grandson..

if only u noe how strong de love is in us..

love u grandfather..

Monday, July 30, 2007

ndp preview 12:53 PM

opps!

i think i fergot something to update..

last saturday was kind of a best day fer me..
rating fer 3/5..

why?

wondering?

hmm...

......

......
had our NDP preview la.

fun?

yes..

memorable?

ahah..yerp2..

tiring?

very2..

irritating?

of coz..!!

wif someone?

yes!!

whu?

boifren of coz..

why?

if only my hand is long enuf like "Mr Elastic" from Fantastic 4..

i'll surely give him a tight slap..

$%$%$%^%$^&%

i noe my guy..

he "loves" a last minute doing..

damn..

i really "love" it like hell..

had told him de previous day not to fetch me after my preview..

coz it will be full of people around..

he insisted of fetching me..

and yes..

i noe..

itz very sweet of u boifren..

but please..

itz as if i donno wat will happen later on..

and yes!!

it happened..!!

volcano..!!

tsunami..!!

hurricane..!!

we were arguing juz becoz of this fetching back home thing..

haven i told u not to?

but u insisted on it..

den..

wat happened?

last minute thing rite?

damn!

if only u hear wat i says..

dummy dum dum..

crazzie + fun + pissed off day.. 12:25 PM

yesterday was a crazzie + fun + pissed off day..

why?

met crazzie group members fer group project..

BUT..

damn..

if dat thing doesnt happen,my day would be de fun day out wif frenz..

actually..

had misunderstanding wif boifren which affect my day sia..

damn!

im sory cliques..

everyone saw me wif de tears..

luckily dere were u guys whu were around to console and cracking jokes..

love u damn cliques..

fun having u guys by de side..

and sory again partners..

after dat..

went to woodlands fer dinner wif him.

ya..

had our chicken rice..

where he had 2 plates of it..

hungry ghost mah he..

first time seeing him wif de hungry stomach..

but..

my brain was still playing a fool on wat happened..

oh man!!

please...
itz really cracking my brain..

but..

overall..

i guess itz an ook day fer me..

rating 3/5..

haha.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

when? 9:08 AM

new boyz - marah bukan sifatku

Ku tidak pernah meminta mu

Untuk mengasihi ku

Dan apatah lagi mengasihani ku

Juga tidak sama sekali

Kusedar sebenarnya kita tiada pertalian

Cuma satu arah serta satu tujuan

Mencari keberkatan-Nya

Aku terkenangkan

Saat manis dulu

Tak pernah kau meninggi suara

Bila bertanya

Keras hanyalah luaranku

Lembut tetap di dalam hati

Marah habis setakat itu

Tak kubiar berpanjangan

Biar aku berdiam diri

Dengan hati yang remuk redam

Kau tak usah lagi bertanya

Tak ku bersuara

Aku terkenangkan

Saat manis dulu

Tak pernah kau meninggi suara

Bila bertanya

Keras hanyalah luaranku

Lembut tetap di dalam hati

Marah habis setakat itu

Tak kubiar berpanjangan

Biar aku berdiam diri

Dengan hati yang remuk redam

Kau tak usah lagi bertanya

Tak ku bersuara

Aku masih mampu tersenyum

Walau hati terluka

Mungkin hari ini duka untuk aku

Esok belum tentu

im wondering..
whu am i to you?
am i still urz?

u didnt notice it..
but i do..
it really hurts me.
and it really do..

but wen will u ever notice it?
or have u notice it,
and never bothers?

y?
r u trying to do something?
im hurt do you noe?
wen can u notice de hurt in me?

u understand urself.
u understand others.
but..
y isnt me de one?

tired of me?
bored of me?
sick and tired of me?
but y?

i NEVER did anything.
i NEVER say anything.
but..
y r u acting this way?
im hurt.
do u noe?

im neither stupid nor crazy..
im trying to hold de love.
but y?
y must this situation occurs?
im hurt.
have u ever wonder?

have u ever think wat i feels?
now..
i tell u wat i feels..
im hurt.
does it gives a clear and understand straight to ur face?
or u still dont bother?

argh!
even if i tells u everything wat i feels..
u don even understand..
i donno wen can u understand.
juz let me keep this straight to myself
and find out everything urself..

i have no one to express wat i feels..
i have no one to understand wat my heart feels..
i have no one..
even if u tell me dat u understand..
actually..
u dont..

ladies feelings and guys feelings are very different..
ladies have egos and dey can manage it on deir own..
guys also do have deir egos and dey still keep it on going wifout solving it..

please..
can u please listen to my heart..
can u please listen to wat i feel..
can u please feel de heart hurting in me..
im not asking more but to be by me and listens everything..

Friday, July 27, 2007

but.. 2:21 PM

Sometimes at night, when I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you and then ask myself, why?
Why do I love you?

I think and smile,because I know the list could run on for miles.
The whisper of your voice, the warmth of your touch,so many little things that make me love you so much.

The way you support me, and help with my emotions,the way that you care and show such devotion.
The way that your kiss, fills me with desire,and how you hold me with the warmth of a blazing fire.
The way your eyes shine when you look at me,lost with you forever is where I want to be.
The way that I feel when you're by my side,a sense of completion and overflowing pride.

The dreams that I dream, that all involve you,the possibilities I see and the things we can do.
How you finish the puzzle that lies inside my heart,how that deep in my soul, you are the most important part.
I could go on for days, telling of what I feel,but all you really must know is my love for you is real.it is a part of my life which i cannot part with.

but..
if only u could understand wat i feels inside and out..
needed u beside me wen im all alone..
but..
u werent dere anyway..

but..
am asking..
r u serious on it?
or r u juz playing wif it?

im hurt by de werds..
im hurt by de thoughts..
im hurt fer everything..

but..
did u really notice it?
u said u care.
but did u?
u care about urself..
u care about others..
but did u ever care on my feelings?
did u ever care on ur werds thrown to me?
im hurt.

i mae not be someone whu could last long enuf wif u.
and im trying to be wif u if u notice it.
im hurt.

i aint asking fer symphaty.
i aint asking fer u to be by me always.
im juz asking u to appreciate on de love given by me.

you'd sae..
"i spent my time wif frenz..
because..
if i spent my time wif u,not spending my time wif frenz..
in de end,IF we broke up
and me returning to my frenz..
wat will dey ever sae?"

but..
have u ever think wat ur frenz whom are attach are doing?
have u ever seen them always coming down,
keeping on tracks with each other?
i dont think so..

dey too have lives on deir own.
dey too think on deir frenz too.
dey too think on spending time wif deir love ones.

but..
do you think ure doing it?
have u ever think about it?
im stranded all alone by myself.
ever wonder?

i ever did understand ur situation..
not dat i NEVER.
u always think negatively on me.
i always wonder.
im hurt.
are u clear?

im wondering..
will dere be any chances of me being wif u fer long?
im wondering still..

wondering never and forever.. 2:19 PM

i ever wonder wat my world will be wifout u in me.

being in love wif you is NEVER a big regret fer me.
being in love wif you FOREVER is my biggest and wildest dream.
being truthfull fer one another is a MUST.
being trustworthy and respect is worthwhile ferever.

i ever wonder "are you doing these expects of love life"?
im not controlling each other as teenage lives is still a long way ahead till itz done.
but..
i juz wonder..
wondering where i am..
wondering where i stand..
wondering till deres no end..

like wat i used to sae..
like wat u used to sae too..
we are putting everything in God's hand.
HE's de one whu is de matchmaker fer us.
you have no right..
neither do i..

feelings and emotions fer each other is only worthwhile fer a short while.
it comes and goes whenever dey wants.

im still wondering still..
wondering will u ever be dere fer me?
wondering will u ever be by me?
wondering will i still have de love given to me?
wondering..
wondering..
and keeps wondering..

and..
i promise NEVER
and..
im hoping FOREVER
and..
im wishing itz WORTHWHILE FOREVER.

im glad dat im yours IF im no longer yours.
im greatful to be loved by you.
i NEVER regret being wif you all de while.
but..
i regret losing u.

because..
loving you is NEVER my biggest regret
but..
losing you is FOREVER my biggest regret.

if only u could hear what my heart saes..
if only u could understand de tears falling..
if only u could be by me listening to everything..

i juz want to sae this 3 werds fer u..
im simply in "LOVE WITH YOU".